James 4:11-12
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Introduction:
[Josh McDowell tells about a question he asked a 16 year old girl in their Christian youth group. “Is it wrong to engage in premarital sex?” “Well, I believe it’s wrong for me.” “But do you believe that the Bible teaches that premarital sex is wrong for everyone?” The girl’s eyes shifted back and forth as she weighed her answer. “Well, I know it’s wrong for me, and I have chosen not to have sex until I’m married. But I don’t think I can judge other people on what they do.”
McDowell’s conclusion is that the girl has been conditioned to believe that truth is not true for them unless they choose to believe it. That’s why over 80% of our kids today claim that “all truth is relative to the individual and his/her circumstances.”] – Betty Johnson, Truth or Consequences, 1/3/2010
This is a different kind of sermon today. We’re starting with James 4:11-12 as our main text, but the sermon is more about a topic than a text.
James 4:11-12 is about why it is bad to speak evil against and judge others, but here’s the thing: just as that story with the young girl shows, our culture has gotten the concepts of truth, correction, and judgment so thoroughly mixed up and confused, that it is very difficult to talk about just James 4:11-12 without also bringing in a lot of other verses.
And the opinion of that young girl isn’t the opinion of young people only. Studies show that three out of four adults also believe that truth is relative and so therefore we ought not to judge others.
So then when we come to verses like James 4:11-12, and people come to it with this preconditioned understanding of what it means to judge others, they can very often come away with entirely the wrong idea.
Texts: James 4:11-12; Luke 6:37; 2 Timothy 4:2; Titus 2:15; 2 Timothy 2:24; Luke 6:39-42
Theme: It is bad for believers to judge one another. But it is good for believers to correct error and sin.
Verses 11-12
The subject of speaking evil against others and judging others is both an important one and a somewhat complicated one. It’s complicated because, on the one hand, we have verses like these in James, and we have Luke 6:37 which says “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven;”
But then on the other hand we have verses like:
2 Timothy 4:2 – preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching.
Titus 2:15 – declare these things; exhort and rebuke with all authority. Let no one disregard you.
2 Timothy 2:24 – and the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth.
What’s going on here is that there is a difference between “reproving, rebuking, exhorting, correcting, and teaching” and “judging, condemning, and speaking evil against.”
But many don’t know the difference between these things, and even for those who do know the difference, it can be challenging to see the difference at times.
So, what has become the norm for many Christians is to be out of balance and to swing one way or the other. Some will read verses like James 4:11-12 and, like the young girl in the story, conclude “well, I’d better just keep my mouth shut and not try to correct or point out any wrongs or do anything like that.” And so they’ll never attempt to correct something that is false, or to exhort someone to do a good work, or to rebuke someone who is doing something evil.
But then on the flip side, some Christians really attach themselves to verses like 2 Timothy 4:2 and become overly comfortable in criticizing others. But some of the things they say might be closer to slander, and the things they criticize are not biblical things, but laws of their own making.
And I think we are probably all familiar with these two pictures: On the one hand, you have the safe space crowd. No criticism, judgement, negative comment, allowed. Every lifestyle, choice, every idea, are all valid and safe and good. The only thing that is evil is saying that something is evil.
And then on the other hand, you have the fellow yelling at everyone to get off his grass, cursing everyone who looks differently from him, making fun of people and calling them snowflakes and the like.
Neither of these positions are biblical ones.
So what is the biblical position then? Well, first, it will help us to understand the differences between all of these words:
Preach (κηρύσσω) – to announce openly and publicly, to announce as a matter of doctrine “This is what is true and right.”
Reprove (ἐλέγχω) – to refute, to put to proof “That is incorrect.”
Rebuke (ἐπιτιμάω) – to chide, to reprimand “That was bad and wrong.”
Exhort (παρακαλέω) – to persuade, to entreat, to implore, to encourage, to comfort, to console “Please do the right thing. Keep doing the right thing. You can do it.”
Teach (διδάσκω) – to teach, to direct “This is why it is true and right.”
Correct (παιδεύω) – to educate or instruct (especially towards children) “Do it this way.”
Judge (κρίνω) – to exercise judgment upon, to bring to trial, to sentence “You have broken the law, and you will be punished.”
Condemn (καταδικάζω) – to give judgment against, to condemn “This is your punishment.”
Speak Evil (καταλαλέω) – to blab out, to speak against, to slander “You are filthy and ugly.”
So, you can see these are all different words. Many have similar meanings; some of them are very different. What’s important to note for us in particular is: what makes the last three different from the others and wrong?
The first groups of words have to do with teaching, correcting, and helping people. They are helpful words. They are helping people to find wisdom. “This is good, this is true, and here is how you do the good, keep doing what is good. No, that’s not good, that’s incorrect, and God’s word says this.”
Remember our earlier sermon: heavenly wisdom is knowing what is good and knowing how to do the good. All of the good words have to do with helping people to get wisdom. Helping them to know the good and know how to do the good.
But the three words that are not good: They are not good because they take on the role of God. It is God who determines right from wrong. It is God who is the lawgiver. It is God who will determine and execute punishment for breaking His laws. God is the one who will and can save, and God is the one who will and can destroy.
Who are we to define right from wrong? We are not God. Who are we to condemn? God is the one who will administer punishment for wrongdoing. And you will find when either you or someone else tries to do God’s job for Him, that they will do a terrible job of it.
Here is the thing. It is not our place to define right from wrong or to condemn others. But, but, there is a God who has defined right from wrong and He will condemn others. The basic difference between the things we should be doing: teaching, correcting, etc., and the things we should not be doing: judging, condemning, etc. Is that teaching and correcting are based upon what God has defined as right and wrong and they point people to God. But Judging and condemning enthrone yourself as God against another person.
So, we’ve got all these definitions. Let me give you some practical examples so we can start to bring things together and solidify things better in our minds.
Let’s say you are talking with a friend and your friend starts talking about their marriage. And they’re saying, “You know, things just aren’t working out well with me and my spouse. I have fallen out of love with them. But there is this other person in my life now, and they are giving me the love and attention that I wish my spouse would give me. I’m thinking about going on a date with them sometime.”
How should you respond in this situation? Should you agree with them and encourage them? Should you keep your mouth shut? Should you confront them?
It may be countercultural, you might be shocked that I’d actually suggest this, but you need to confront and try to help them. You need to 1) preach, 2) reprove, 3) rebuke, 4) exhort, 5) teach, 6) correct.
It looks like this:
1) Preach: The Bible says something different about love. In Ephesians 5:2 it says that we are to “walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us.” Love is a choice and it is a sacrifice.
2) Reprove the lie that they are believing about love. They say “I have fallen out of love with them.” Love is a choice. You fall out of feelings. You don’t fall out of love.
3) Rebuke them and tell them that it is wrong to give your love to another. Marriage is a lifelong covenant. You don’t go on dates with other people. It sounds like both of you are choosing not to love.
4) You need to exhort them to do the right thing: love their spouse.
5) Teach them: say “trying going on a date with your spouse instead”
6) Correct them: Offer to help them find counseling, offer your help.
What should you not do?
1) You don’t need to judge them and say “Well, I think that you are a horrible person for that and that your spouse needs to leave you.”
2) You don’t need to condemn them and say “well, consider this friendship over. I’m telling my friends about this. That’ll teach you.”
3) And you don’t need to speak evil against them or their spouse and say “if you were any kind of decent people, you wouldn’t be in this situation to begin with. Only the worst of sinners would have this kind of problem.”
Silence is also not a good option. That might be safe for you and your friendship, but it is not safe for their marriage. Don’t just sit there and say “well, I ought not to judge. I ought not to say this is a bad thing. It’s not my business.”
I know what you might be thinking. You might be thinking “What if they won’t be my friend anymore?” Or you might be thinking “Pastor has his head in the clouds. That will never work.”
I tell you what, if they lose you as a friend, but keep their marriage, be glad. Better that their marriage should be healthy and good than that you two should be friends, especially if your friendship is the kind that doesn’t try to help people in need.
And something else, my head isn’t in the clouds because my wife and I had to do this once for a close friend of ours. We went to go stay a week with a friend of ours and her husband and we found that she was consistently treating her husband badly. We could see that their marriage was in serious trouble on its current route. After about 30 minutes of silence on the road driving back, I can’t remember who, whether it was me or Jenni who started the conversation, but we said “man, that was not good. We have to do something.”
We thought about it, talked about it, prayed about it. And we decided that better that we should lose her as a friend and she keep her husband than that we should be silent. We spent the next several weeks writing a first, second, third draft of a letter to send to our friend. It was very hard. It never felt perfect. But we finished it. We both signed it. We sent it. And… we didn’t hear back for a long time. I think it was a month? Might have been two months?
Our friend was very angry. We had crossed a line. You don’t do that in this culture. And it hurt every day to go to our mailbox and see no reply. But you know what, we did hear back. And it was a humble letter of acceptance, repentance, and love. And now she and Jenni are great friends again. Now, they are being counseled by a couple who has been successfully married for over 30 years.
Were there consequences for our decision to confront? Yes. She and Jenni are great friends again, but I’m sure they’ll never invite us to stay a week again! And I can’t blame them for it either! But I’d rather their marriage be on the right track. And I know in many cases there never would be a letter coming back in the mail. But, that is better than that their marriage should suffer.
But consider the cost of doing nothing. Let me tell you another story. When I was in high school I had many friends who were regular drug users and very rebellious. I never did agree with them, on the inside, but I would say on the outside “you guys can have your fun with drugs, but it is not for me.” I believed that if I confronted them about their drug use, it would probably hurt our friendship, and so I didn’t do it.
Do you want to know what came of that strategy? Before God, I am not lying. One committed suicide in middle school. One committed suicide right after high school. One died in a drunk driving accident in high school. One died of a drug overdose as an adult. One went to jail on charges of incest. One went to prison for multiple counts of identity theft. And one killed themselves as an adult.
That’s what came of my “non-judgmental” strategy and following the wisdom of the world. What a terrible friend I was, but I will no longer be a bad friend.
Actually, I kind of like to think that my head is in the clouds now. Up above the mess, trying to follow God’s ways and wisdom that are so much higher than ours. It is so, so much better and more fruitful doing things God’s way rather than the world’s way.
Well, those were some big and heavy hearted examples of the necessity to correct others.
Real quick, here are some other smaller every day examples, examples of when it is inappropriate to judge others:
Let’s say you don’t like sports. You aren’t particularly good at them and you think they are a waste of time. Is it appropriate for you to go around telling other people that they are wasting their time by playing a sport or watching a sport? Probably not. Not unless they have some addiction or something. Or you are their parent and they need to do their homework instead. Because the Bible doesn’t say anything against sports. If God has no law against sports, who are you to create a law against sports?
Or you think that being a vegetarian is silly. God has determined that all food is clean; meat is delicious, so why would anyone want to be a vegetarian? So you go around and call vegetarians snowflakes and fools. Has the Bible said that it is wrong to forgo eating meat? No, people have the choice to forego eating meat if they want to. Daniel did that once. If God has no law against vegetarianism, who are you to create a law against vegetarianism?
But on the flip side, you might be a vegetarian and think others are awful for eating meat. How terrible to eat something so cute and fluffy. Here again, God has given people the freedom to do that. Who are you to speak evil of people who are doing what God says they are allowed to do?
So those are some examples, here are the principles:
1) Don’t speak or give judgment and condemnation. Those are reserved for God. There is only one lawgiver and judge.
2) Don’t speak evil against or call bad what God has not called evil or bad. To do so is to speak evil against God’s law and to become a judge over the law.
3) Don’t make harming people your goal.
4) Do point people to what God says is right and true.
5) Do help people to understand and to do what God says is right and true.
6) Do encourage people to do what God says is right and true.
7) Do make helping people your goal.
Final Thought:
Luke 6:39-42
The blind cannot lead the blind. If you also need correction in an area, first correct yourself before presuming to correct others!